Pissen chat - Why dating sucks

With those, you will send a few messages back and forth before he invites you for a drink.You will put on some mascara, plunge out into the snow, meet a stranger, and after an hour of slightly stilted conversation, he will grab the check.

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I tell all my single guy friends to watch out for online dating.

It is a sad, soul-crushing place where good guys go to die a slow death by way of ignored messages and empty inboxes.

I tell all my single girlfriends to give online dating a try. Your inbox will fill with notes from 19-year-olds in the ‘burbs, 40-somethings who find your taste in music “refreshing,” addled idiots writing “id fck u,” and a handful of age-appropriate, nice-looking guys who can string some sentences together and like to cook.

You set up a profile, pick some cute photos, write something witty about the things that you love (Beyonce, Hillary Clinton, Battlestar Galactica), list some books you like, and then sit back, kick your feet up, and wait for the messages to roll in.

I walk at about 300 calories per hour so that means that I would need to walk for 206 hours. As I am mentally working through this analysis, I decide to have some toast -eating helps me stay calm. Okay so I will work on losing 1 pound per day and I will eat normally so that means that I need to use 5500 calories in 14 hours - (the 2000 I am eating plus the 3500).

Given that the body will use 2000 a day if there is no activity - then I only have 62000 calories to work off as long as I have no calorie intake.

I will need to adjust for sleep though and I CAN'T run for 1 hour let alone 5 days so that won't work - the date is in 4 days. 35000 calories (3500 per pound time 10 pounds) to get to the perfect weight.

It's a generally accepted fact that about 20-25% of all relationships now start online.

And as I write this, I've had some mild success: I've been on a number of first dates, and a couple second dates, but nothing that's really gone past that point yet; dating involves a lot of trial and error before you get it right with the right person.

If you stick with it, there are worthwhile people out there to talk to and connect with. The single biggest problem with online dating is that it seems like every single profile is exactly the same.

You will try to split it, but he will pay, and you will stand to re-wrap yourself against the frigid wind.

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