Dating playing it cool

Play it cool by maintaininga low-key tone, and challengehim to prove how smart he is by saying"That's a curious choice. " By questioninghim (instead of going all awestruck),you'll trigger his competitive instincts.It doesn't matter how drop-deadsexy your outfit is.

"But that can make aguy feel pressured, and being pressuredinto a relationship is somethingmany men worry about." The smartermove? Refusing to be wowed easily willsend the message that not only are younot pressuring him, but you may evenbe slightly out of reach.

"Because menare biologically hardwired to be competitive,they need to feel like they'remaking the choice to be with you andthen working toward winning youover," says John Amodeo, Ph D, authorof "You need togive a guy the space to do that." Insteadof focusing on him, pay just as much(and, at times, even more) attention toothers around you, advises clinicalpsychologist Belisa Vranich, Psy D,author of And when he mentions having donesomething undeniably awesome, likestudying abroad in Nepal, resist theurge to gush about how amazing thatmust have been.

As you know, one of the most fascinating things about dating is how there’s always more than meets the eye. So even though you see it as a sign of weakness when a guy is ga-ga for you, do your best not to hold it against him.

And what we want to happen on a date doesn’t always correspond to what REALLY happens on a date. And when you weren’t with him, all you could think about was being with him again. But what happens when you’re that intoxicated by a man? These are the words that best describe you when you feel the strongest about a new man in your life. Nor is it surprising when that impressive man, upon seeing that you’re needy, nervous and weak around him, stops calling you. This is one of my favorite dating coaching principles – getting you, as a woman, to flip things over yourself, to better understand men.

You’re really interested in someone, but you’re holding back on returning texts, pretending to be someone you’re not, and acting like you don’t care when really you do.

Playing cat and mouse like this is attracting the type of person into your life who will keep expecting games and treating you like a pawn.

Or you say something that’s so dumb that you can’t believe it even came out of your own mouth. You like him so much that you don’t want to mess things up. You issue compliments and proclamations that are immensely flattering to this new man. You’re so impressed with him and so concerned with what he thinks, that you put him up on a pedestal, where you think he belongs. And if you don’t want men to judge you for being “real,” it’s best for you to give these poor lovesick guys a break as well.

You’re not as easygoing or charming or relaxed when he’s around. This is what I call The Pedestal Principle: “The moment you put a man on a pedestal, he’s immediately looking down at you.” This is the unfortunate part of what it means to be intoxicated by a man.

The one he looks forward to seeing because you are moving at the same speed as he is.

It’s going to be too easy for him to get with you, too easy for him to be with you, and then he’s going to lose interest. Or do you want to be the ‘it’ girl, the one who goes with the flow and is his equal in every way?

You actually feel like he’s listening to what you’re all about, like he cares. He understands what romance is and he’s doing everything he can to make you feel wanted and desired. But the problem is that when someone does everything right, people don’t trust them. It’s not about having the most amount of money; they also live life richly. Every time you play hard to get with a man who’s evolved – a man who actually knows who he is, who values his time and values himself, who’s been around the block and knows what he’s looking for – every time you play it cool with that guy, he’ll look at you and think you’re far less evolved than you first appeared to be. Watch him think that you’re not vibrating at the same level as him, and watch him blow you off because he doesn’t need you.

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