Attraction and christian dating

However, none of this means that attraction isn’t important.Forgive me for putting this bluntly, friends, but marrying someone means vowing to have sex with them regularly for the rest of your life (health and old age allowing).

I still don't have peace about marrying him, and I think it's due to a lack of attraction to him physically and emotionally.

His good qualities are dwarfed by the things I find annoying or even embarrassing, and I'm way more attracted to other guys physically.

We all need to be mindful of our tendency to respond to people based on looks, and to strive to value everyone equally, whether they’re sparkling and beautiful, or unlovely and odd.

But when it comes to picking a husband or wife, I don’t believe we should feel guilty for wanting to be attracted to them. Of course, sexual attraction (which isn’t the same as good looks – I’ve been wildly attracted to some positively plain men in my time) isn’t everything.

The world tells us that the way to know whether two people are "right for each other" is to measure the white-hot physical attraction between the two, combined with the idea of "chemistry" on steroids — their ability to effortlessly have day-long conversations anytime about anything, punctuated by the quick, witty exchanges found mostly in edgy independent comedies.

In our culture — and in many churches — "attraction," whether purely physical or "chemistry-related," is considered the foundational way to evaluate a potential marriage relationship.

Biblical Christians, however, are called to think differently.

We are to use Scripture as the measure of our desires.

‘I’m dating a nice Christian guy who I like and respect,’ said the email (so far, so good – however, I hear a ‘but’ coming). Or as a Christian, does God expect me to be less shallow?

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