Advice for dating the cancer man

It’s finally happening: you met a man you’re compatible with, you really like him, and the feeling is mutual. We’ll ask him what’s wrong, call him, and start worrying.He’s showering you with attention, making plans to see you, making time to call you, and generally letting you know that he’s so happy to have found you. But this can actually push a man further away because he’ll feel coerced.

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He’s a recent widower (wife died of cancer in June 2010.) We started dating just after Labor Day. We live about an hour and 1/2 apart and he has a very high level job and a big house to take care of (and a dog.) There has been no sex yet but lots of “foreplay.” He says he always waits to have sex until he’s more sure of the woman.

I want to see more of him at this point (3 months,) especially on Saturday nights.

I want to be sure that I am getting my needs met and that I’m not just a “rebound” for him. Dear Karen, One thing I know about widowers, followed by two things I know about men.

Widowers are QUICK to rebound, to a point of being unseemly.

Drifting away is completely natural for a man, even if he’s in love with you.

Falling in love can make him feel vulnerable, so he’ll try to pull back in order to not lose himself.Romantic and devoted, he takes relationships and his partner seriously, and once settled with a mate he enjoys the home and everything associated with it.Cancer men are also often exceptionally friendly and love to help others and feel needed.My question is this – does this apply to widowers as well or is it fair to give him a little more time and just get busy with other things so I don’t put pressure on him?He says he has always taken it slow in dating and this is nothing new.The real secret to making sure his distance is only temporary is to let go of your efforts to bring him close.

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